Pain, tears, confusion and anger are just a few words applicable to a post-break-up.
The seemingly sad story of a heart being shattered and forcefully having to embrace the once again new state of singleness. The thought that this person would have been “The One.” What a crushing and sharp inner pain to embrace and not have the ability to place numbing cream onto or take a forget it all ever happened pill.
I’m not sure if you did what I did and plan out the rest of your lives together. The plan of holding their hands, the clasp of intertwined fingers as the skin would one day grow to wrinkle and your age together grew over the decades. You may have envisioned the babysitting of your grandchildren. When you kissed, you never thought that it actually would be your last kiss. When you gazed into their eyes, never did you know that it would be the last time your love goggles would do its job and be torn off to the awakening of hardcore reality that love as you knew it no longer existed (insert stabbed heart pain here).
What is so painful about heartbreak is that you are breaking a way of life, the norm, the emotions, the vow of oath taken and witnessed only within your own thoughts that this person is to be yours for life… until crap went down.
Can I tell you something? You may not be okay right at this moment, but you will be.
I remember the pain that tore through my heart after learning of betrayal. I remember ongoing breakups because of a text or call that held compassionate words, promises, a coax to return to a troubled relationship.
I knew that the relationship would never change for the better and life offered me 2 options:
Option A) Remain in the relationship. Remain in ongoing pain, OR
Option B) Break up the relationship and be in temporal pain.
Heartbreak is heartbreak, no matter what form it all went down in.
Here are 5 amazing tips to heal your
heart and trust the post-break up process:
1. Self-Healing Activities:
Time Heals. I’d actually like to disagree on this. There are real stories of people going on 10 + years living in their emotions of heartbreak, now that’s pretty intense! Time does not heal, but time does go on and you will heal based on your mindset. Train your self to understand that it hurt’s but you will heal. It will involve yourself in assistive self-healing activities (Meditation, Prayer, Journaling, Yoga, Kickboxing, Travel Club…)
This is for you and not for them. Forgiving allows the release of sadness, resentment, and fury. It rids you of heavy negative energy. Forgiveness is ongoing and the more you say it out loud, the more you will believe it and train your mind and heart to accept those words and turn it into an action of letting go. Un-Forgiveness causes you to hold on, like forever.
3. Let them go!
Do not focus on their social media. Do not purposely hangout where they are. You may have to distance yourself from shared friends. Do not make any form of communication unless business is involved or children of course, in this case, set appropriate barriers.
Listen to those sad soapy songs, cry, get it all out baby, just do not get stuck there. Listen to music that heals you. Music can alter your mood and make you feel so happy.
5. DO NOT REBOUND:
You are not healed so therefore you do not need to be jumping to the next fine thing thinking this is distraction. You will always have a void if you do not take the time to properly heal it on your own. You will selfishly place responsibility on whoever comes to your life and guess what, they ARE going to fail you. This is your assignment and problem to rectify. This is not to say that when you do entertain the idea of dating or courting that you will not have baggage. Every package will come with baggage. (HEARTBREAK SUCK’S BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO).
It will be a challenge, but the day you decide to make a conscious effort to heal and not be stuck in emotions and the weight of the pain, you will feel so amazing.
You deserve to love and have love reciprocated. You will love again and you will be loved right next time so as long you do not rush the process and become whole, so whole you love being with yourself, still with desire of a significant other, but not having it as sole goal to belong to someone.
Please share with me your story.